Lessons That Changed Me: Porcupine Man, Flowers and Power.
I may not keep this post up. Right now it feels right, and somehow important to share, but with topics like this, that can change. It may be that this post is simply meant for the pioneers in this group, the first ones, the believers :)
I had a strong feeling this morning that I wanted to share the experience of my first sweat lodge and now I know why.
It’s the 14 year anniversary of it. Trusting that, here it goes;
I got invited to a sweat by a friend who was attending herself. This was in Saskatchewan, where I’m from.
I was in a very insecure stage of my life. I felt like I constantly had something to prove. Needed people to see and acknowledge that I was different, special, GIFTED.
The Elder who was leading the sweat could see right through me. But he didn’t say anything.
During the sweat I had a profound experience. I was shown my ego personified. It was a very tall, buff blue man with porcupine quills for hair; long and slicked back.
Even though I’d never seen him before, I knew exactly who he was. Looking at him I thought; oh no, how will I ever overcome THAT?!? It was daunting.
That’s when I noticed that he was tied to me by a rope. Suddenly I realized what to do. I grabbed a scissor and cut the rope and he instantly fell away from me. It was that easy.
I was free.
For the moment :)
After the sweat, we were sitting outside embracing the cool of the breeze after sweating and the Elder was sitting with his back against the sweat lodge with his legs outstretched and crossed, smoking a cigarette.
He looked at me and said; “Maria, for you; patience, acceptance, stop to smell the flowers, stop looking so hard, and don’t do things for the power.”
It hit me like a ton of bricks.
Moshum means Grandfather in the Cree language and my reply to him was; “Moshum, can’t you tell me something I WANT to hear…??”.
He just smiled and said nothing else to me.
I think nearly every day for the next 8 years I had at least one moment in my day where I heard his words in my head.
That sweat was an event that changed my life.
Shortly after my experience, I had noooo idea how I was gonna swing it, but I had set an intention to find porcupine quills to honor my experience. Within a day or two I was parked in a parking lot and happened to look beside me at the vehicle parked there and noticed it had porcupine quills sticking out of the tire.
I couldn’t believe it, but yet I could. Just like I was taught, I put down a bit of tobacco and pulled the quills from the tire and put them in a place where they were always close to me.
I still feel it all as if it happened yesterday. Immense gratitude for my lessons that have shaped who I am.
