Calling Out Elephants

It happens Every. Single. Time. Every camp. And this is my 8th camp!

Once a day I go beet red. So that’s 5 times per camp. Like beeeeeeetttt red. And it lasts for 5 minutes. It’s the longest 5 minutes of my life because I know that it’s happening and I know that they know that I know that it’s happening. “They” being the students who come here to learn from me.

So, now I just call out the elephant in the room. Straight up I just say; “Oh, there it goes again. I can feel my red face emerging. It means, yet again, that I’ve realized I’m not just having a conversation with someone, I’m actually instructing people. In a “leadership role”. And that makes me feel shy, so that’s why I go red. Just ignore it. It will pass.”

That’s what I say now.

It’s still embarrassing as heck though, especially when I can see that my students feel bad for me in that moment. 

And then I see them as they squirm and struggle, trying to pretend that everything’s normal :)