Fighting the Judgies on My First Missed Post

The first day after reaching my goal - Day 91 - and I buckled. The mental chatter on that one was pretty loud; “The first day outside your goal and you drop the ball. I thought you wanted to continue with your daily practice? Is this as far as you’re capable of carrying it?”

But once I called myself on it, the inner critic died down and then it didn’t just feel ok to miss a day, it felt good.

It was a day for allowing myself grace.

And the best, most important part for me to realize was that I allowed that for MYSELF. I didn’t go looking for approval or permission from anyone else in order to grant it to myself.

I wrote through a lot of hectic days within that goal of writing 90 days. And that was powerful.

But this week with the kids starting public school again after 3 years of homeschooling (and everything required to get that set up), moving into a place in Vernon to be close to their schools (tooling up a new living space), planning for increasing my work load to cover the extras associated with it all, the smoke from the fires which was affecting my head - I just needed a day, man.

So I took a day. I gave that to myself. I thought about plowing through. But this felt better. It felt gentle. My soul needed gentle. And it feels good when we give our souls what we need to feel better, balanced, realigned. It’s important for each of us individually to be able to do that for ourselves. I’ve discovered it’s also a way that we can fill our cup enough to be able to continue to share with others - in a healthy way. A way that is fulfilling and not depleting.

No, it wasn’t a failure. It was a major win in allowing myself grace when I needed it.