The Superpower Behind Happiness and Joy
My 15 year old son, Alec, has bad seasonal allergies. He often doesn’t want to leave the house when they are this bad. But yesterday Henry had preschool, Ev and Bannon had a school meeting with their teacher and then I wanted to take the kids to Juniper Beach. Alec was craving a good cooling dunk in the lake so he decided to come along.
On the way to the lake he volunteered; “My allergies are better when I’m eating.” Surprised, and excited about this possible miracle cure, I asked; “Eating helps your allergies!?!?” He replied; “No, but it makes me happy.”
It really got me thinking about our tolerance levels when we are happy. And on the side of opposition, when we are unhappy how our tolerance is much less; it’s much easier to get crotchety about something that normally wouldn’t phase us. We all know that feeling. I don’t even feel like I need to provide a real-life example ;)
This led to the idea of building resiliency through joy and happiness.
Happiness is a temporary experience determined by an external event (a promotion, celebrating a birthday, a vacation, etc.), while joy is more of a consistent way of being which can be maintained even when challenges present themselves because it stems from an overall deep feeling of contentment.
Where are you on the happiness scale right now in this moment? (Remembering that this moment is really the only way to gauge happiness because it’s fleeting)
What about joy? Overall, how much joy do you feel in your personal world? On a scale of 1-10, with 10 being serious Buddha vibes.
Then I want to ask; how resilient do you feel in the face of adversary? Is there a correlation, I wonder? Of course, a feeling of resiliency has more than just the happy factor attached to it. But maybe it's all worth considering.
I think about how the smallest of acts sometimes trigger a shift for someone. How an act or words strung together just right, that we never would have imagined would impact someone at all, could affect someone in a positive lasting way.
I know it’s not this simple for everyone. But for many, it actually is.
And this topic REALLY activates my Mother Teresa gene because I GET IT. I have been there.
As humans we generally see joy, and even (maybe especially) happiness, as this sort of tricky, difficult to achieve thing, and yes, the world, society, conditioning doesn’t exactly exude the flowery conditions to nurture it in us, but maybe we just haven’t seen that sunrise or met that person yet who will say the right thing at the right moment and change everything for us.
And not because they will be sharing a secret potion recipe that will magically remove any problems, obstacles or challenges, but because in that moment when we needed to hear something, or be heard, needed to see someone smile at us, needed to feel like someone cared, they did that for us. And moments like that can change someone’s day, week, month, even more, for the better. It can provide a power boost to propel us forward.
I don’t think happiness is always contagious, and joy definitely isn’t - mostly because it requires cultivation efforts. But I do believe happiness, AND joy, can be inspired.
And even if it’s only sometimes, if it really is so simple and easy to activate that resiliency DNA, then I’m totally into it.
