When I Scroll Instead of Sit With It

I’ve started honing in on my motivation behind the things that I do and don’t do. An easy example that comes to mind to explain is in regard to my phone. 

When I pay attention (and that really is the key phrase for me to cling to) I notice the times that I’m reaching for it because it is an appropriate time for me to be productive - reply to students or clients, check my email, write my blog, etc.

But I’m also aware of the times when reaching for my phone is a weakness. A sought after distraction. An avoidance of boredom or the thoughts and feelings swimming inside me. A discomfort, or fear even, of the stillness. Why fear?

Because I still battle the belief that if I am not doing anything then nothing is getting done. And being on my phone doesn’t feel like doing nothing. Even if I’m only using it to entertain or distract myself. 

It’s an illusion.

So I’m going to let myself wriggle in discomfort a little more. Let my thoughts settle so my body can too. Find my clarity outside the noise and constant stimulation. And do myself what I tell my kids to do all the time; invite boredom over for tea and make friends with it. As always, there are gems to be found in the stillness and quiet. 

One of those gems being clarity on my own motivations so I can be and do better.